Anger

"Anger's heat makes wise decision making impossible." Pamela McQuade

Anger. What does anger mean to you? How do you express your anger? How do you control your anger?

Anger is a emotion that I do not fully have under control. One minute I will be happy and ready to take the world on and then the next minute I am fully of furry, hate, and anger. It's like it just comes over me without any triggers and I'm not sure why. But I do know that I need to obtain better control over it before it drives me to do something I will regret. The anger I have inside of me is something that has built up from childhood. It's something that has always been there and now it's to the point that I have to release it somehow. I just don't know how to do that.

I believe that the anger inside of me has control of me to a certain extent. It comes out when it wants to even when I try to hide it. Not only do I notice it, but so does friends and family. And it's time to get help in finding ways to release the energy of it. But how do I release it? I've tried several things that used to help me keep it more controlled as a child, like coloring a page completely black and releasing that negative anger into the markings of that crayon as it was coloring that page. I've tried screaming into a pillow for hours on end. I've tried hitting a punching bag while putting all of my anger into it. But the anger is still in me. I don't know what else to do. As an adult, I've gone to counseling. I've tried talking it out to a complete stranger and to someone I've known for a while. I've tried working on my hobbies in hopes that will help, but it just hasn't done what I was hoping for.

I feel lost and in a crossroad in trying to find the way out. I want to be free of the anger that if built up inside of me. I want to use that energy to do more with my life. I want to feel myself from being hooked by an emotion that shouldn't be this strong over me... I need help.